August162014

matociquala:

damngruchy:

supermassiveasshole:

i was teaching my grandma to use computer so we can talk on skype and such but today she went kinda mad at me because “i didnt show her the knitting programme” and i was like what

and it comes out she accidentally opened ms excel and found out its a great way to create knitting patterns

image

my grandma is 82

image

The street finds its own uses.

(Source: supermassiveasshole, via songofthesummra)

August72014
“We are more than the worst thing that’s ever happened to us. All of us need to stop apologizing for having been to hell and come back breathing.” Clementine von Radics, Broken (via anomalyatlarge)

(via enerianna)

2PM
anchoredinnewengland:

Forever Anchored in New England ⚓️

anchoredinnewengland:

Forever Anchored in New England ⚓️

(via glittergoldprepster)

August62014
equine-ess:

tehriz:

even this very young specimen of cat has already mastered the “I totally meant to do that” save.

HOW CAN YOU NOT REBLOG THIS OH MY LIFE

equine-ess:

tehriz:

even this very young specimen of cat has already mastered the “I totally meant to do that” save.

HOW CAN YOU NOT REBLOG THIS OH MY LIFE

(Source: catleecious, via songofthesummra)

2PM
elenamorelli:

{ a nice evening begins with longing }

elenamorelli:

{ a nice evening begins with longing }

August52014
2PM
“At what point do you take girls out of school altogether because boys can’t handle it?” Parent of a female teen whose school banned leggings (via yball)

(Source: meetingsinthedesert, via littlegirlbigdreamss)

August42014

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via disappolnted)

(Source: feellng, via littlegirlbigdreamss)

2PM
emmaapproved:

"Step One: Letting Go"
I’ve said before that when life has you down it’s okay to wear something that makes you comfortable above all else. And just so you know I practice what I preach, at least when it comes to fashion.  Recently I had some personal setbacks that brought me pretty low, but at the same time I found a company that makes the most comfortable, soft, and flattering sweats that I’ve ever seen or felt.  So if tears, ice cream, and listening to sad music are in your immediate future you might as well do it right.  These tiger print, blue and white, harem pants are made from cotton so soft it’s like velvet.  Paired with a matching, equally soft, blue and white pullover. It has a draping cowl neck, and varsity style, contrasting sleeves that gives the impression of layered separates in one easy package.  I may be ready to start putting my life back together but I really hate to leave this outfit behind.  I could seriously wear this forever.  Just don’t forget that a good, reliable friend is the best accessory!
Pullover: Mint Clothing  |  Pants: Mint Clothing 

Emma Approved is also Katherine Approved, in case you were wondering

emmaapproved:

"Step One: Letting Go"

I’ve said before that when life has you down it’s okay to wear something that makes you comfortable above all else. And just so you know I practice what I preach, at least when it comes to fashion.  Recently I had some personal setbacks that brought me pretty low, but at the same time I found a company that makes the most comfortable, soft, and flattering sweats that I’ve ever seen or felt.  So if tears, ice cream, and listening to sad music are in your immediate future you might as well do it right.  These tiger print, blue and white, harem pants are made from cotton so soft it’s like velvet.  Paired with a matching, equally soft, blue and white pullover. It has a draping cowl neck, and varsity style, contrasting sleeves that gives the impression of layered separates in one easy package.  I may be ready to start putting my life back together but I really hate to leave this outfit behind.  I could seriously wear this forever.  Just don’t forget that a good, reliable friend is the best accessory!

Pullover: Mint Clothing  |  Pants: Mint Clothing 

Emma Approved is also Katherine Approved, in case you were wondering

August32014

hanklerfishcomic:

a beginners guide to nerdfighteria

Fixed!

(Source: vlogbrothersdaily)

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